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bleed

Updated: May 3, 2018

It was the first party of year 12, and my house was always the spot where all the girls got

ready. This involved doing our hair, make up, usually some sort of fake tanning, then we

slipped into our tight dresses and massive heels (it was very over the top). The guy holding

the party lived up the hill from my place. A massive house overlooking the ocean (think The

OC) with a pool outside decorated with fairy lights. Food was provided, but of course BYO

alcohol.


So the girls and I arrive and we start talking to everyone. 1 drink down, 2 drinks down, 3

drinks down, and I’m now flirting with this guy I liked from my form class. Before I know it

we are downstairs in the gym area. We start making out, the party is in full swing upstairs. I

remember thinking, high school is fun. We make it to second base then of course, as

everything went back then, the guy finishes and the intimate moment is over. It took me a

long time to realize as a woman I deserve pleasure too (that story is for another time). So

we both go back upstairs. I go to the bathroom and realize I was bleeding. I call my friends

into the bathroom as I was freaking out. I didn’t think I was meant to get my period and

then I thought, oh my god is the guy upstairs with blood on his fingers, is he telling

everyone? My friends calmed me down, gave me a pad and we went back to the party.

The following Monday at school the whole grade is talking about the weekend. A rumor was

spreading that the guy I had hooked up with “jizzed in my eye”. Along with another rumor

the the younger brother of the boy who hosted the party had gone down to the gym the

next morning and sat in a pool of my blood. I was mortified.


As I looked back on that night a few years later…


1. I realized my hymen broke, hence the blood. I knew that could happen, but little

information was ever provided, which I believe is related to the lack of sexual education in

schools.

2. I was slut shamed most of my high school years for kissing boys. The boys were praised

for kissing me, but I was shamed (my two best friends and I were called the DCC crew –

dirty, cunt, crew).

3. These boys have since apologized for the rumors made up about me when we were

teenagers. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize what they were saying about me

when we were kids was wrong. I never deserved that, no girl does, it doesn’t matter how

many boys she kisses or sleeps with.

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